“Mama’s home!!” They run to me with big smiles almost tackling me to the floor as they jump into my arms. All the stress from work is gone and replaced with love and joy. I savor this because I know one day they will be too big and cool to greet mom this way. My husband turns the corner to welcome me home with a kiss and a hug. We walk together to the kitchen while he chats and I look back behind me at the living room and the tornado state it’s in. I try to focus on what he’s telling me but I can’t. Im panicking trying to remember a key word to get myself out of appearing unloving or uninterested.
Instead I look at the sink. It’s filled. With dirty dishes. I have to wash them first because I need some of them to cook. I also forgot to thaw out the meat and I will end up cooking the meat half-frozen half thawed. I start to gather all the ingredients I will need for dinner and see I forgot to put the laundry from the washer in the dryer. There’s also several loads that need to be done, yesterday.
We finish dinner and start our evening routine. I bathe the boys and husband washes the dishes. I make it upstairs before the boys to run the bath water. Dirty clothes everywhere. Bathe the boys and there are no clean towels. Grab a towel from our room and come back upset by our unmade bed and clothes all over the floor. Which ones are clean? Which ones are dirty?
Boys are in their pjs and in bed. We say our prayers give kisses and hugs I walk out close the door and let out a loud sigh. Then argue with myself about how much there is to do but the day was long so I deserve to relax right? I relax because there’s always tomorrow. Can you guess how long I’ve been having that argument? Months.
This is how we spent many evenings. There’s so much left out though like how most days I got frustrated with the boys or my husband and I argued about “the little things”.
Something has to change. I finally realized that what I valued in my life weren’t things at all. I value my faith and loving others, my husband and our marriage, my boys and raising them to be loving human beings that would give back to the world in a positive way, my health so I could live a long life and enjoy my family and lastly nature, connecting with the beauty outside that God created for us to enjoy. This does not mean that I am giving my values 100%, no there’s always work to be done. But, I can tell you we do not spend our nights like the above anymore.
Are you stressed? Is there not enough time in a day? Are you always being pulled in so many directions? Is your health suffering? Are you anxious or depressed?
Then I ask what are the things you value? And are you nourishing those values? Maybe it’s time for a change.