Family, Health, Mental illness Her real home.  March 28, 2017

If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts or follow me on Instagram then you know about my battle with ptsd, depression and anxieties. Such a dark time with night terrors, flashbacks, depression that left me in bed most days unable to care for myself or my family, suicidal ideations, weight loss and a pillow filled with tears. Yet still, I cannot deny that it has also brought so much good.

During the manic episode my love for nature was remembered. My real home here on earth. Where I lose my fears, anxieties, sadness, grief and instead I see how small my problems are and how big God is. How beautiful and intentional he created nature to be for us. How incredibly restorative it is to pause on the responsibilities of this life and lose yourself in his creation.

To reacquaint yourself with the unpaved paths, the scent of floral trees picked up by the air that surrounds your body and fills your breath. To hear their whisper as they brush against each other to welcome you home. Where conversation has depth but words are never spoken. Where you’re dreaming vividly, with your eyes open. To place your hand in a stream with a current and feel it dance and curl between your fingers.

I am homesick when I am away, can you understand why?

I know what it means to be so devoid of life that you beg and plead with God to take it. I don’t have instructions for a way out, everyone’s journey is different. Though two journeys can have commonalities they can never be the same. Faithfully love those with souls that are at war and you will discover that it is everyone you can love.

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28 Comments

  • Caity posted on March 28, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    “where conversation has depth, but words are never spoken.” this is beautiful ❤ honestly getting outside has saved me from feeling stuck/depressed so many times! During pregnancy and now with my little squirt to tag along. God made this gorgeous world for us to enjoy.

    Reply
    • thehahnestlife posted on March 28, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      Caity thank you so much for reading. I’m so happy you get it and that you’re teaching your little squirt ☺️ to embrace it.

      Reply
  • Corbett (@thefarawaybae) posted on March 28, 2017 at 1:44 pm

    You are such a poet! This is your best one yet. Keep it up, mama! 🙂

    Reply
    • thehahnestlife posted on March 28, 2017 at 5:35 pm

      Thank you Corbett for your faithful support and love. Hun you’re truly one of my best friends you have loved me and comforted me many times. I love you.

      Reply
  • nikkibradley3 posted on March 28, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    As I have been reading your posts I sometimes feel like it is myself you are referring to through a looking glass perspective. I can relate to many of these posts. Thank you so much for being so willing to be humble and raw in sharing your heart and experiences. It is so good to know that I am not alone in my similar struggles! 🙂 Your posts are truly inspiring! 💕

    Reply
    • thehahnestlife posted on March 29, 2017 at 3:58 am

      Thank you so much Nikki. I’m so happy we’ve met and I’m looking forward to building a friendship with you hun.

      Reply
  • Marta (@martalarissa_) posted on March 29, 2017 at 3:40 am

    “Where I lose my fears, anxieties, sadness, grief and instead I see how small my problems are and how big God is.” AMEN to that! Great post Tiff!

    Reply
    • thehahnestlife posted on March 29, 2017 at 3:59 am

      Aww thank you so much Marta for taking the time to read so grateful! Love you girl!

      Reply
  • www.crunchykisses.com posted on March 30, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Tiffany, this was just beautiful. It resonates with me….Diving deep into nature and reconnecting like I once did as a little girl is how I started to learn how to clear my own clouds as well. In nature everything is gentle, slow, but right on time. It connects me to myself, parts I had forgotten and there’s nothing else that does it for me. Like you said, hands in the stream, bare feet to the ground. I’m convinced our souls need this and I truly feel God designed it that way💛 So lovely. You are such a beautiful soul, mama. Xoxo

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      You’re absolutely right my friend, I too believe that it’s how God designed it to be. Thank you so much for reading and your endless support.

      Reply
  • The.Sanford.Life posted on March 30, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    So beautiful! 💜

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      Thank you so much for reading Amber.

      Reply
  • AdventuresofTenTen posted on March 31, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    Tiff, I knew from the start when I stumbled upon your Instagram page that you are such a beautiful person inside and out and I HAD TO GET TO KNOW YOU. We relate on so many levels but also differ in many ways that it helps me understand and love you even more! I love how appreciating God’s natural wonders in nature is just so good for the soul. That is what helped me the most when I was going through pregnancy depression and post-partum. I always love seeing your posts! You are inspiring.

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      T you’re such an encouraging woman. You’re always so so sweet in your expression to others my friend. Anyone that has you as a friend has struck gold! Thank you for reading! Love you

      Reply
  • Emily posted on March 31, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    Such a beautiful and raw post!!

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 3:00 pm

      Thank you so much for reading!

      Reply
  • Lisa Grooms posted on April 1, 2017 at 1:44 pm

    This is amazing and you are a beautiful soul!

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:53 pm

      Thank you so much Lisa!

      Reply
  • Rebekah posted on April 3, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Wow this is amazing. So vulnerable for sharing your battle like that but I’m so happy you were able to find yourself again in nature and find joy in those simple things! <3

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:53 pm

      Thank you so much for your encouraging words and for reading!

      Reply
  • TheBurdenBunch posted on April 13, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    Nature brings me so much happiness as well! With all the craziness in this world I can forget to remember the beauty around me that He has created!

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:52 pm

      Yes exactly. I get caught up in life and nature just makes you stop and stare, oh it’s so good for the soul, mind and heart. Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  • graceandfoxtails posted on May 7, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    I love this. Your description is so vivid, I truly felt like I was right there with my hands in that current. You’re beautiful mama. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:52 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! Makes me feel so good that you could feel yourself there.

      Reply
  • Honestly Mommy posted on May 8, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    So beautiful Tiffany! You are such and inspiration!

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      Thank you so much Steph! Love you girl thank you for being my fangirl!

      Reply
  • jasperandwillow posted on July 27, 2017 at 1:42 am

    Such a beautifully written and powerful post! I too have had my struggles, and connecting with nature helps me so deeply. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • tiffany posted on July 31, 2017 at 2:48 pm

      Thank you so much! Yes nature just has a way of bringing us to a calm, peaceful place. Thank you so much for reading.

      Reply

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